Any Given Rainy Thursday

Today's Thursday, right? Thursdays are the April of the week. Rainy. Grey. About as exciting as a weather report, & slooow, sloooow, slooooow. The kind of day that's dripping from the walls, floating silently all around your coffee cup. I was bored. & so I thought to myself, I thought: This will not do. This Thursday I will not waste. So I did what I could.

I wrote subtle love letters at work.

I made imaginary clementine friends. Then I ate them.
Here's 'Noel Gallagher'.

I designed a logo for 'Mbeba Ink.', Ace's & mine new project.

On my coffee break I went on a daydream-date with Mr Mayer.

& I wrote a letter to my Martini Queenies in Chicago.

Oh, & just for the hell of it, I counted the amount of coffee we've made at work today. At four o'clock, I was at 30 cups. This company has: 2 employees, & a healthy caffeeinated glow to it.


Song of the day: 'Watch Your Step' - Juvelen. H-H-H-Hot! Listen to it [here].


Quote of the day is from the Family Guy episode 'Stewie Griffin - The Untold Story', when Brian & Stewie are playing Pacman drunk at the bar:

Brian: Get, get the fruit. It's more points. Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna get the fruit.
Brian: Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna... I can't get the fruit.
Brian: Get the fruit.
Stewie: I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna get the fruit there's a ghost right there!


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It's been raining all day, & it made me think of that day in Paris when it didn't stop all day & night. I was sitting in the large window of our small studio appartment, drinking tea & writing.



Curled Up, Feeling Right (It rains in Paris tonight.)



The sound of rain always
makes me feel
ready for anything

that this world might
bring
my way

& so sheltered, covered
head to toe

in treads of thoughts forming
spider web patterns of

fine golden string

all over me & my
little world

curled up / feeling right

'one-piece'-sensation.

Teacup-blanket-staring out of
weary windows, washing all my

angst away whilst
watching everything turn two shades
darker & three times
thinner,

nights like this are just
made

for us conpulsive sinners, the
impulsive soar-throated & our histories of

fantasies upon mysteries knocking fiercly on our
door, I guess this time it's

spring
preparing her arrival by
singing us gently to sleep as

to say; 'make way, throw
away, it's

time for late-afternoon-strolling, ice-cream-
trolling & tree-shadow-grass-gazing

whilst 'our kind of truth'-phrasing

let's just jump straight to May.'

(We'll be walking light as
air together

& I've got time to wait.)

So I fill my gaps with daydreaming, wine-sipping, late-night-sigh-
writing mostly because

it makes me feel alive
& out loud.

I've been told I share colours with
fall, maybe I
do

maybe not at all

but I do share
wherewithal with season number
two;

(sky-chasing & wall-climbing &
old mistakes to redo with
yet another

someone new)

taking pride in walking
tall

even when I feel so small.

The sound of rain always
makes me feel

composed, disposed;
ready for anything

in the same way you do.

You & the sense of
lies-come-true

some shades of blue

packing my bags, combing my
hair truthfully through

shower singing

oh, and the smell of spring.

-----------

There was so much in the air that night, apart from small drops of water; confusion, fright, beauty, blues, acceptance, surrender & astonishment. Back then I had lost my way, I was fucked up, miserable. Hadn't slept for months, couldn't been bothered with anything but writing. Paris was my beatiful hell on earth - the perfect love to hate relationship. I filled my nights with words & my days with walks all over the city, always daydreaming of the same thing, the one thing that I cared about: To get to the girl waiting for me down in Nashville, Tennessee. To drink Jack Daniel's & slay monsters & kiss cowboys under the moon. To get away from there.

Today it's almost a year later, the rain is still tapping on my window, & though a lot of things have changed I can't help but find a beautiful irony in the fact that all I do these days still revolve around one & the same thing: To once more cross that sea, see - I've got a date with spring in Nashville, Tennessee.

Love,

me.